The Perfect Day For Him

6:00 Alarm 

6:15 Blow job 

6:30 Massive, satisfying shit while reading the sports section 

7:00 Breakfast – steak and eggs, coffee and toast – all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler 

7:30 Limo arrives 

7:45 Several beers en route to the airport 

9:15 Flight in personal Lear jet 

9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route) 

9:45 Play front nine (2 under par) 

11:45 Lunch-steak and lobster, three beers and bottle of Dom Perignon 

12:15 Blow job 

12:30 Play back nine (4 under) 

2:15 Limo back to airport (several bourbons) 

2:30 Fly to Bahamas 

3:30 Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot showing their growlers 

4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) – on light tackle 

5:00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle MacPherson (bending over showing her growler, naturally) 

6:45 Shit, shower and shave 

7:00 Watch news – Michael Jackson assassinated 

7:30 Dinner – lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits 

9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigars in front of wall-sized TV as you watch football game 

9:30 Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies 

11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer 

11:30 Night-cap blow job 

11:45 In bed alone 

11:50 A 22-second fart which changes note four times and forces the dog to leave the room 

11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep